Jess Carter, left, in action for the England national women’s football team. She’s been candid about her anxieties and trials throughout the last Euro tournament, highlighting the personal impact of online hate. “Honestly, I thought I was going to cry,” the 25-year-old said of the fear that washed over her when coach Sarina Wiegman informed her she’d be playing in the final against Spain. This victory would see England crowned the champions.
Carter’s concerns extended beyond her own performance. After the experience of watching her teammate Lauren James miss a penalty in the quarter-final shoot-out against Sweden, she expressed sheer relief. It was lucky timing that other shooters such as Beth Mead, Alex Greenwood and Grace Clinton all failed too. That other shared experience took a little bit of the pressure off, she said, that she was worried would fall more heavily on James.
Carter gave a glimpse into the brutal reality of rampant online racism. She shared the terrible tidal wave of hate-filled messages and comments she received throughout the tournament. When she spoke of the abuse, she said it left her feeling “really little.” She stressed that it made her, or led her to, second-guess all of the work that she’s doing. In every way that matters the psychological toll wrecked Carter, and she was left unable to function. Her family was truly heartbroken by the vitriol being hurled at their daughter.
“It makes you feel really small. It makes you feel like you’re not important, that you’re not valuable.” – Jess Carter
Her fears about the pandemic were amplified by worries about James. She stressed that the backlash and criticism towards James would have been “astronomical.” This would have been even more the case had she been the only player to miss a penalty. This pressure created an environment of anxiety, which led Carter to admit, “That’s the first time I’ve ever been scared; too scared to play.”
England overcame the tournament faves Sweden in the quarter-finals and then beat Spain to win the final. As the Lionesses rejoiced in their momentous victory, Carter’s mind was drawn back to the grim underbelly of the competition.
“It’s horrible to say, but it’s almost like a sigh of relief when other players who weren’t Black missed a penalty,” – Jess Carter
The tournament raised awareness about the ongoing issue of racism in sports. Both Carter and James were met with an avalanche of online vitriol in response. In their response to the abuse, the Lionesses joined together to denounce the “vile” attacks, reiterating their pledge to continue working to challenge discrimination of all kinds.
“It makes you second-guess everything that you do – it’s not a nice place to be. It doesn’t make me feel confident going back onto the pitch. My family was so devastated by it as well and so sad.” – Jess Carter
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